Please put your seats in the upright position to prepare for a FIST!!!

I have been notified by several followers that I have not been writing frequently enough. My sincerest apologizes. I'm sorry that I've had other things going on that have put a damper on your day. PLEASE don't be mad. It would break my heart to upset you. If you didn't catch the sarcasm in that, try reading it again. I would like to suggest that join in on the fun. There is a facebook fan page set up that you can send nominations or suggestions for who you would like to see punched in the face. If you have facebook, search for "You Deserve To Be Punched In The Face" and it should pop right up. Tell your friends and spread the word. That is a shameless plug for promotion of the blog. DO YOUR PART! If I can get enough followers I can find a blog site where I could recieve payment for my rudeness and eventually quit my job to write everyday to please you all. That being said, here is todays nominee....UNITED AIRLINES! I recently flew United, not by choice but instead due to one of my connection flights being cancelled while in Chicago on my way to Memphis. This caused my layover to be extended for an extra two hours. Do you know how much drinks are at that airport United?!?! Ridiculously expensive! So I had to put two more hours worth on my tab. I boarded my flight and slept through the next 2 hours til I arrived in Memphis. Not expecting any problem I went to pick up my luggage only to find that it had been lost! REALLY?!?! I don't understand how you can lose my luggage when it was literally going directly from one destination to the next with no interuption. If you have never had your stuff lost let me tell you, it is a complete pain in the ass. I was given a number to call and track the movement of my bag until it would arrive at my hotel. That is when it got even more fun. The representative on the other side of the phone could barely understand me, let alone speak english back. I had to spell every word I was saying. Here is an example, "A as in asshole, D as in dumbass, A as in aggrivating, M as in moron". If you are going to work for a company where the primary language used is english and you are unfamiliar with it, you should be fired. Go back to making Nike shoes and put someone who doesn't have to use a fake "American" name on the line. I'm not mad if you're from another country and your just trying to do your job, as long as you possess the qualifications necessary to do so. I would like to be the guy who does the voice for all the movie previews that makes millions of dollars for talking cool. Unfortunately I was only blessed with the ability to sing like an angel, not talk like a badass. I am not qualified to do that job. Try following my lead here United, only allow people who can actually do their job to have one. UNITED AIRLINES, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!