SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

I woke up this morning with a pretty bad hangover. Is this my fault? Is it because I had a couple to many beers? I don't believe so. Budweiser wouldn't do that to me, we're friends. I blame todays nominee for the massive headache and all around shitty feeling I have been dealing with all day. Todays nominee is...THE GUY WHO INVENTED JAGER BOMBS! You asshole! You combined the deliciousness of red bull with the blackoutness of Jager. Because of your invention I have had the shakes all day. It's not just jager bombs though, it's any shot with the word "Bomb" attached to it. When you mix an energy drink with any alcoholic beverage it's probably not the best idea. These little bastards will sneak up on you. I'm sure some of you are reading this and thinking to yourself, "Jager Bombs?!?!? You're bitching about Jager Bombs? I shoot 151 with no chaser!" Listen tough guy and or girl, good for you! I don't feel the need to prove my manliness when ordering a round of shots. I AM A MAN! I HAVE A BEARD! I don't need to prove anything to you! I'm trying to be courteous of others when ordering drinks so that everyone will enjoy them. I'm almost sure the the guy who invented jager bombs was thinking the same when he ordered the first ever round of them. It's either that or he wanted to get some chick super wasted so he could "watch a movie" with her. THE GUY WHO INVENTED JAGER BOMBS, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!

MY NAME IS FIIIIIISSSSSTTTTTT, FIST ROCK!

I don't understand some things in life. Why is fried chicken so unhealthy, yet so delicious? Why are shots at the bar so delicious, yet so expensive? Why am I not rich yet? Why do people who get rich off of one thing feel the need to try something different? Todays nominee is.....KID ROCK. The balls on this guy! You got famous for being a 3 in 1 combination of a DJ/RAPPER/ROCKER who happens to be white trash and proud of it. That's not enough for him to be satisified. He has to branch off in to country music? You ever heard of "spread the wealth" Kid Rock? I bet your a selfish bastard. I'm sure all you had to do was call your label, tell em you've gone country, and they said it was the best idea ever! Something like this, "Your going to sell millions of albums! Who cares about the fans that enjoyed the music you became famous for?" Your kind of a dick Kid Rock. Let me explain why I say your only "kind of" a dick. I like the fact that you still fight at waffle house, or strip clubs in whatever town your in. I like that you either have been smiling, or so trashed you don't seem to have any idea what's going on in every mugshot I have seen of you. Sometimes you find yourself in a Waffle House, in a town your just visiting for work, and you have to deal with assholes. I've been there. I approve of the way you handled it, I did the same. I'm going to use those qualitys to take some force off of your fist. Unfortunately, you still must be punched. Let someone else have a shot at making a country album that actually loves the music and is not just trying to find a new way to make money. It's not really even "country" specific, just quit making stupid shit. What's your next move Kid Rock? You gonna move over to R&B and cover some classic Jodeci? I'm sure you've got some old thick gold chains along with a kangol suit that you could use for the video. I bet your version of  "Come and Talk To Me" will top the charts! KID ROCK, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!

Adam Nash is Punching Facebook in The Face!

I have decided to end the longest relationship in my life. There have been good times, there have been bad times. In the end I believe I will be better on my own. This leads to todays nominee....FACEBOOK! That is correct, I am deleting my facebook account. I have wasted far to many hours of my life on the social network instead of improving my real life. I'm done with it. Although I enjoy checking out all the pictures taken while having good times with friends, that is about all I will miss. I will not miss all the drama that has been caused by unecessary comments, status updates, etc. I am now ready to get back to one on one communication with all my actual friends, not just "Facebook Friends". It is scary to think that I will no longer be aware of what goes on in this whole other world. I feel it will also be a sort of weight off of my shoulders. I feel like I am Neo in the matrix. I am ready to step out and see what the real world is like. A world where accepting friends and updating my status will no longer be a priority. Step back and think about it for a minute. I know that almost everyone loves facebook that has an account. I did for a while, but not so much anymore. People no longer take the time to call or text and catch up but instead leave a comment for everyone else to see and put their thoughts in. Close friendships have turned into nothing more then clicking "like" on a status. As far as the fan page for this blog on facebook, I'm not really sure what will happen with it. It will still be available for your comments and posts. It will be up to you as a reader and follower to keep it alive. In the words of Drago from Rocky, "If it dies, it dies!" I will continue to blog and hopefully do it more frequently without the distraction of facebook. FACEBOOK, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!

The best part of waking up, is a FIST in your cup!

I hate waking up. I hate interacting with others when I have just woken up. I hate when I want to go to sleep or stay asleep and others interupt me. Todays nominee, MORNING PEOPLE! If you wake up and feel it necessary to chat it up, talk to yourself. It's not that I don't like you or want to speak with you, you're just gonna need to give it a couple hours. Some people have the capability to wake up and put a smile on their face and be social, I am not one of you weirdo's. I need at least an hour of alone time before I am ready to deal with other voices besides the ones in my head. I would also like to address those that feel it necessary to be loud and annoying while I am trying to go to sleep. When I have decided it's bedtime it's time to shut it. I don't wanna hear your t.v. through the wall, or your thoughts on how the day went. I am a cranky jerk. I'm ok with that. I am currently in a hotel room where I have to deal with some annoying lady on the otherside of the wall who wakes up way to early and decdies to start calling everyone she know's. REALLY?!?!? It's frickin 8 a.m. and you wanna talk? I bet the people you call don't want to deal with your ass either. I definitely don't wanna hear you going on about nothing to someone who probably couldn't  care less. How bout you do us all a favor and put your phone in a timed safe that doesn't open til about noon. Bottom line is if everyone could maintain a code of silence until approval has been given by everyone else to speak, the world would be a better place. MORNING PEOPLE, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!

Please put your seats in the upright position to prepare for a FIST!!!

I have been notified by several followers that I have not been writing frequently enough. My sincerest apologizes. I'm sorry that I've had other things going on that have put a damper on your day. PLEASE don't be mad. It would break my heart to upset you. If you didn't catch the sarcasm in that, try reading it again. I would like to suggest that join in on the fun. There is a facebook fan page set up that you can send nominations or suggestions for who you would like to see punched in the face. If you have facebook, search for "You Deserve To Be Punched In The Face" and it should pop right up. Tell your friends and spread the word. That is a shameless plug for promotion of the blog. DO YOUR PART! If I can get enough followers I can find a blog site where I could recieve payment for my rudeness and eventually quit my job to write everyday to please you all. That being said, here is todays nominee....UNITED AIRLINES! I recently flew United, not by choice but instead due to one of my connection flights being cancelled while in Chicago on my way to Memphis. This caused my layover to be extended for an extra two hours. Do you know how much drinks are at that airport United?!?! Ridiculously expensive! So I had to put two more hours worth on my tab. I boarded my flight and slept through the next 2 hours til I arrived in Memphis. Not expecting any problem I went to pick up my luggage only to find that it had been lost! REALLY?!?! I don't understand how you can lose my luggage when it was literally going directly from one destination to the next with no interuption. If you have never had your stuff lost let me tell you, it is a complete pain in the ass. I was given a number to call and track the movement of my bag until it would arrive at my hotel. That is when it got even more fun. The representative on the other side of the phone could barely understand me, let alone speak english back. I had to spell every word I was saying. Here is an example, "A as in asshole, D as in dumbass, A as in aggrivating, M as in moron". If you are going to work for a company where the primary language used is english and you are unfamiliar with it, you should be fired. Go back to making Nike shoes and put someone who doesn't have to use a fake "American" name on the line. I'm not mad if you're from another country and your just trying to do your job, as long as you possess the qualifications necessary to do so. I would like to be the guy who does the voice for all the movie previews that makes millions of dollars for talking cool. Unfortunately I was only blessed with the ability to sing like an angel, not talk like a badass. I am not qualified to do that job. Try following my lead here United, only allow people who can actually do their job to have one. UNITED AIRLINES, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!