I'm starting with the man in the mirror!

No short story to start this one, TODAYS NOMINEE IS....ME! I have gotten shit from some of you who I see or speak to on a somewhat regular basis due to my lack of effort lately with this blog. I know that when I started writing I said it would be a daily blog, or at least semi-daily, but I have just been really lazy. It's kind of difficult to find the drive to put out a quality product on a daily basis. If I were to compare the level of motivation required to perform everyday consistantly and deliver life changing material it would obviously be comparable to a dolphin who performs in a show at Sea World. I quarantee sometimes at the start of the day, flipper don't feel like doing any dam front flips no matter how many fish you give him. Not because he doesn't want you to update your FB status to, "OMG!! Flipper just did a triple flip thru a flaming hula hoop!!" but rather because he is just tired. Does this mean I'm gonna start writing everyday? Does this mean I'm gonna turn it around and make my world revolve around fictionally punching people in the face? Have I found a fire that burns so deep and bright inside of me that I will never let you down again? Will I have a healthy breakfast? The answer to all these questions is, no. I'm gonna write when I get the motivation and desire to post something that I feel will make the world a better place. As far as breakfast goes, I'm gonna go to waffle house and get scrambled eggs w/cheese, hashbrowns double covered and crisp, white toast (not wheat), and coke filled with grenadine...ADAM NASH, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!

                  FYI.. I google image searched "adam nash" and this came up, YOU'RE WELCOME

I wonder if Godaddy.com will register my page after a fist!

So once again I am aware it has been a while since I last wrote but because of an email from a friend I have found the motivation needed. No messing around tonight, TODAYS NOMINEE IS...BOB PARSON'S! Bob is the founder of godaddy.com and apparently a worldwide expert on the killing of helpless animals. If you haven't heard by now he went Zimbabwe and killed an elephant and then made up some BS for reason's as to why he did it. He claims that he was contacted by the people of the area about the removal of problematic hurd of elephants. Really bob?!?!?! Are you Elephant Dundee? I haven't seen any of your movies but you must of made some to show your quests. Not only have you messed with millions of men's hormones by showing those teaser commercials where no one ever gets naked, but you also make up fake occupations for yourself? You have all that money and the best thing you can find to do is kill an elephant that isn't being aggressive toward you? Well guess what BOBO? I have been contacted by the elephants of zimbabwe and been made aware that some prick is coming there and killing random members of their population. They would like it handled and I have accepted. So I would like to do this in the same manner that you did. I will give you a 100 yard distance head start. I will do distance not time because I feel if i gave you a 5 minute head start you would have a heart attack trying to run 100 yards and die before I could get ya! I will even go as far as to hide oxygen tanks throughought some bushes in the field so that if you manage to hide for a minute you can catch your breath. From reading your bio and other information I am willing to bet that you are more of Hooker Dundee Bob. Next time you get a "call" about helping zimbabwe out how bout you just ship them some cash and let them handle the elephants. BOB PARSON'S, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!!

Scoot into my fist!

It has been a long time since I have written anything on here. I have been lazy but have also been finding other ways to blow of steam. Walking is starting to become a requirement of my day to day life or it does not seem to go smoothly. I went walking earlier to do some thinking and so on but a homeless man ruined that by trying to get money from me. Not only do I not have any money to give him but if I had money he wouldn't get it. He is not todays nominee. I have a list of nominees but he is not worthy of making it. I will instead nominate someone who has been deserving of this honor for a long time. I don't know her name so I will instead make a category to put her in. TODAYS NOMINEE IS...PEOPLE WHO PUT HORNS ON THEIR MOBILE CHAIRS!!!!! Even if your wheelchair has a motor it is completely inappropriate to have a horn on it. If you are disabled and require wheels to get around that doesn't give you a license to be a jerk. Unless your handicap includes the loss of the ability to speak you don't need a horn. A horn is installed on a car because you can't always yell loud enough to let someone know something bad is about to happen. When you are within a voice's reach of another person it is never appropriate to honk to get them to move. Just because your lazy when it comes to walking doesn't give you the right to be lazy when it come's to talking. A simple "Excuse me" or maybe "Pardon me, can I get by you?" would be completely appropriate and in no way a hassle. Next time you wanna honk at someone, how bout you take the horn of your scooter and sit on it? PEOPLE WHO PUT HORNS ON THEIR MOBILE CHAIRS, YOU DESERVE TO BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!! (Insert a horn on the chair below)